The tuba effect

The Jingle All The Way 8k results are up, and naturally I was curious how I stacked against the other runners. I know I’m no sprinter, so I’ve just plotted the median times within each age-by-gender category. Apparently carrying a tuba gave me a race time comparable to the median among 70-74 year old women.

Of course I already knew I’d lose a race against my grandmother, a strong Polish woman who taught PE for many years. But when I’m carrying a tuba, your grandmother could likely beat me too.